Self Doubt

I have been compelled to start writing again....I have started a new career (again) and I am terrified....I am now an independent insurance agent representing Aflac...This is my own business. All aspects of this are mine except the products and literature. I have studied and taken my life and health license test for the state of Oregon. I passed on February 21 2011....I didn't receive my license to start writing insurance until March 17th 2011, and I didnt receive my writing number for Aflac for a few weeks after that.....so before I could even start writing business..(which is how I MAKE money) I was already around $2000.00 into this business....This is frighting!! I am trying to provide for my family and pay the bills on a pure commission job....in this economy.....and I have had to put alot of money into it before I could even start to do it....Then came the actual part of doing the job...I am a welder, a mechanic, a roughneck.....I have allways been easy to get along with, I tend to make people feel at ease...now I am required to go into business, ask for the owner, and give a presentation trying to get them to let me talk to their employees....once I accomplish this, I have to counsel the employees about the benefits I am selling. this is terrifying....I can pretty much talk to anybody..or so I thought...once you put a motive behind it it is horrific...I cant tell you how many times I would drive around a business making excuses as to why I shouldnt go in....about how I know they are not interested....WHY?? why cant I just go in and talk....I am the type of person that would not be ok selling someone something I knew was junk....I know the benefits of aflac. I have needed and used them myself. I represent aflac because it is a great company...it is actually beneficial insurance to have for the common person. It truly does help in times of need....I have my own personal issues that i am dealing with....not to mention all the fear of rejection, or embarassment.... or all the other excuses i can think of as to not talk to people...The problem is...when the fear takes over, and I dont talk to people...I dont make any money...how do you transform yourself into another person? how do you go from a roughneck, to a suit wearing business person without losing who you are? how do you overcome the fear of just going in and talking? these are the issues I will be talking about.....all about my transformation....not just with work, but in life...this is the starting point....I am 2 months behind in rent...and no money to pay this month....I am finally communicating and living with my wife as a team...my children are starting to actually behave, and act like human beings....And the biggest thing is God loves me....I think.......I still have my doubts, but they are waning.... I look forward to keeping this record of my highs and lows... my failures and successes.....like for example, I made all my phone calls today....when your in my spot...that is a huge victory.... The most important thing.I need to overcome......self doubt!!!

God bless.