another day

Well I finished another day.....not as productive as I should be...I am still having trouble just walking into businesses...I still don't understand it. I mean Aflac has these scripts...they tell you what to say, they even go as far as to give you responses to overcome objections....I am really comfortable reciting them in my home to my family, even in a classroom with other agents and a state trainer...but I just can seem to do them in the real world...I followed up on some leads today, and I am hoping to get more tomorrow...I am fighting off the feeling of failure...I have a family that depends on me to make sales, to be out "pounding the  pavement"..why is it so hard.....I know that this job will work, I know that I am supposed to be here...I mean it feels right...even on top of the fear, the failure, the scepticism, the nasty feeling of self doubt, and all the other things that are going on in my mind.....it just feels right. My home life has been incredible...I truly have the most wonderful wife in the world...she is the reason I am still in it, and that I have not given up to find something "safe" they say that fortune rewards the bold, well my wife makes me bold. She has been so supportive, so loving, so.....well tender...growing up as a kid I was never allowed to fail, never allowed to be anything but perfect...if I failed or was imperfect I would get my ass kicked.....that is how alot of my marriage has been....I felt I could never fail or I would get my ass kicked....or be punished....my wife has made a huge change....she has made it OK to fail, its OK to suffer the day to day of the sales world...with out her, I don't think I would have made it this far.. with how she is now....I will be in this business for a while....and I will succeed...I have been made to feel safe.....I don't think I have ever felt safe....safe to start sharing my fears, my truths, my struggles....to become a husband that God has intended me to be all along...I truly believe that God brought Jackie into my life so many years ago for a purpose...and we are going through all of this for a purpose...that purpose is coming to life....its not to be rich, its not how many people we can impress...it is to teach us love...in every form....in every meaning of the word....I love my wife...I love that I cant wait to see her..I love that she makes me want to be a better person...I love how she has adapted herself to help me grow, to help me love, to help me just be me......It makes me want to love her harder, to do everything I can to believe...she is my inspiration, my heaven on earth....all it takes is just a look from her and after all these years, my heart beats faster...my knees get week, and I realize I am alive...And I am In LOVE...so will this career work? will I be successful? will I be able to support my wife so she can stay home with the babies? will I overcome my fear and be able to talk to anybody again? will I be the best aflac agent in Oregon? the answer to that question is the same answer I got from Jackie the day I asked her to marry me in the parking lot of a convenience store in my white Toyota truck.......YES. With my wife by my side I will be successful!!