I try to be strong.....for myself, my family, my friends, and anybody else who needs it. For most of the time it works....for them... I can go for extreme amounts of time not letting the little things get me down. These are great times, very little (if anything) bothers me. The sun shines a little brighter, the birds sing a nicer song, and i tend to notice everything that is right with "my" world. Today however seems to be one of those days that i tend to see the darker side of life. I pray, and expect God to be there, to hear my prayers and at the very least make me feel better....at ease.....but I got nothing. I know he is faithful, I know he is there. But....and that is where i am tonight....BUT.... I know these things...but...I don't feel them. I know he wants me to live life, and live it more abundantly...but I don't believe it. If he did I wouldn't feel this way. I do KNOW that no matter how hard I try, I will never understand his reasons... I wish somehow I could. I wish I could see the long term. I wish i could see the top of the hill I am up against. The feeling that best sums up today would be.....failure.... no explanation, no reason, no profound ramblings on how everything will be ok.....just failure. I will however not give up hope. Hope that tomorow I will feel better. That tomorow God will reveal something to me that changes everything. Hope that everything will be OK.
I pray that if you feel this way, talk to someone....anyone...even the mirror...because no one should feel this way alone....
This is my story...whats yours?
Scott, I've been there many times. You your self have helped me out in these times of distress. Let your family and friends be there to support you, too.
ReplyDeleteEcclesiastes 4:12 (The Message)
By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.
I love you, my friend.